


Teenage Wasteland

by ZieZie13



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, American AU, Angst, Brother Feels, Brotherly Angst, Car Accidents, Chance Meetings, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Demisexual Sirius, Feelings, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off AU, First Meetings, Grand theft auto, Growing Up, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hurt Remus Lupin, Literal Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Orion Black's A+ Parenting, POC James, Past Abuse, Regulus Black is a Good Sibling, Regulus Black is a Little Shit, Sirius Black Will Make it Better, Skipping Class, Slice of Life, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, WSS2020, Walburga Black's A+ Parenting, Wolfstar Secret Snowflake, rating for language and mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28190226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZieZie13/pseuds/ZieZie13
Summary: Sirius Black and his best friend, James Potter, are the coolest guys in school. Their pranks are legendary and their reign is undisputed. But with graduation fast approaching and James heading off to Princeton in the fall with his girlfriend, Lily Evans, Sirius wants to get in one more epic day of hijinks and fun before the real world comes crashing down around them.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, background James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 7
Kudos: 31
Collections: The Wolfstar Secret Snowflake Exchange 2020





	Teenage Wasteland

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anemone_nemerosa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anemone_nemerosa/gifts).



> I wrote this as part of the Wolfstar Secret Snowflake exchange and I had so much fun coming up with this idea. I hope you guys like it because I was feeling a little self-conscious about it for a while, but you know what else is new?
> 
> Oh my goodness I almost forgot to thank my beta Ais. She is brilliant and amazing and this story would be at least 10% worse without her.

Sirius Black let out a groan as his body woke up. He did a mental inventory of the damage while he stretched his muscles. Honestly, it could have been much worse. It  _ had _ been much worse. Gently, he reached a hand up to his face flinching as it brushed the tender skin along his jaw.

Shit. It was bruised for sure. There was no way his parents would let him out of the house today. God forbid someone saw the results of their handiwork and got the wrong impression. No, his mother had probably called into the school already to report him sick. He let out an exhausted sigh and sat up to face the door as he heard it open.

His little brother stood in the frame, one hand on his hip. “Really, Sirius? Why must you antagonize them? I hope the party last night was worth it.”

Sirius flopped back down letting his head bounce slightly as it hit the pillow. “I’m not in the mood Reggie, so if you don’t have anything helpful to contribute I would ask that you kindly fuck off.”

He could practically hear his brother roll his eyes. “I’ll pick up your homework from the front office so tell James not to worry about it.” And with that remark Regulus made his exit leaving Sirius alone once more. 

Sirius remained in bed until he was sure there was no one left in the massive house. Once he heard the third car pull away from the drive he finally let himself breathe. It seemed like his mother and father were both too busy to stay home and act as warden. Perhaps the day could be salvaged after all.

He blasted his music through the house’s speaker system and relaxed under the warm spray of the shower, singing along to the song and letting his body move with the music. He was grateful for the layer of fog that covered the mirror as he wrapped a towel around his waist.

He settled into the breakfast nook with a bowl of cereal and watched a couple of squirrels chase each other in the yard. Honestly, it was too nice of a day to waste. He checked the clock, 7:42. James and Lily were probably getting in a morning make-out session before classes started. The two had been all over each other since they had finally got together earlier in the school year. He reached for his phone and made the call.

“Sirius! Please tell me you are running late.”

“Actually Prongs, I was thinking today we have a little fun. One last hurrah before the end of the year and all that.”

“Oh? What did you have in mind?”

“Is Lily with you?”

“Yeah, right now she is giving me a very questionable look.”

“Good. Bring her along... Peter too. It’s senior skip day. Meet me at my place in twenty.”

**✴** **★** **✴**

James looked at the call ended screen. “Whelp, looks like we’re skipping today.”

Lily narrowed her eyes at him then shrugged her shoulders, “Sure, why not? I’ve got nothing important going on. Let me just give Marlene this paper to turn in. You grab Peter and I’ll meet you at the truck, yeah?”

She gave him a quick kiss before turning and walking down the hall. James stared after her for a moment wondering for the thousandth time how he got so damn lucky. 

James found Peter loitering outside the dining hall eating a breakfast taco,“Grab your stuff. We’re skipping.”

Peter looked up confused, “What, now? I can’t! I have a science lab today and if I miss it I’ll have to make it up next weekend.”

“Seriously Pete?” James gave his friend a meaningful look.

“I know… I know. It is just my mom would be so pissed if she found out. Fuck. I mean… shit. Sorry James, I can’t.”

“Yeah ok, Pete. It’s alright. Your loss anyway. I’ll give Sirius your best.”

The great thing about having such a large campus was that it was insanely easy to slip away without anyone noticing. That is unless you happen to run into your best friend's little brother. Well shit. 

“Where do you think you're going?”

“Mr. Slughorn asked Lily and me to run to the corner store and pick up some vinegar for today’s lab. He didn’t realize that the supply was running low.” The lie slipped out easily, but Regulus clearly wasn’t buying it. The boy was too smart for that. 

“Right. Try not to take too long. Wouldn’t want anyone getting into trouble.”

James gave him a nod of acknowledgement and headed off to his truck where he could see Lily waiting.

Sirius’ house wasn’t even ten minutes from campus. James made sure to park the truck down a nearby  cul-de-sac so that no one would see. This was not the first time they had done this. 

He led Lily straight to the side of the house. By the time she understood what he was doing, James was already halfway up the drain pipe. He maneuvered himself onto the low roof that ran below Sirius’ window just as he had since they were twelve, but when he looked down to check on Lily he found that she was already walking away. He shrugged, slid open the window, and climbed inside.

“Padfoot? You ready?”

“Just about,” Sirius answered back. He was arranging the pillows on his bed to look like a person sleeping. Well, they looked like a person sleeping as long as you didn’t look too hard, which is to say not at all.

James snorted. “You really think your mom is going to fall for that?”

“Fuck no. She won’t check on me herself, she’ll ask Amelinda to do it when she comes this afternoon to clean.  _ This  _ will give Amelinda plausible deniability.”

As Sirius turned around, James got a good look at the latest gift from his parents. Internally he winced, but he kept his mouth shut. That was an argument he'd had with Sirius far too many times already. In their sophomore year, James had finally given up and the whole thing had remained unspoken ever since. Instead, James asked about how Amelinda was doing. 

Sirius was recounting one of Amelinda’s many stories about her daughter’s wrestling team when Lily came into the room.

“How did you get in?” James asked incredulously.

“I used the door like a normal person. Honestly, sometimes I’m surprised you boys can figure out how to tie your shoes in the morning. Ready to go?”

“Yep. Let me grab the car keys,” Sirius answered.

“Won’t it be pretty obvious if your car is missing from the driveway?”

“Who said anything about taking my car?” Sirius threw the words over his shoulder as the trio made their way downstairs.

“Sirius,” James used his warning tone - the one he used when Sirius was going to suggest they do something extremely stupid. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” Sirius drawled, “I was thinking it would be a good day to take out the Vantage.”

Orion Black owned many cars. Among his collection were a McLaren 675LT, a Jaguar E-Type, and a Morgan Aeromax. But Sirius’ favorite by far was the 1977 Aston Martin V8 Vantage. The machine was a beauty to look at and even more fun to drive. Mr. Black had banned Sirius from even touching it.

James stopped in his tracks. His eyes flickered to the dark bruise on his best friend’s face. “Are you sure that is a good idea? We can just take my truck you know?”

“ James Henry Potter, I am appalled that you would suggest such a thing! This might be our last adventure before we all graduate. It can’t be like every other day, no, it has to be special. And that is why we simply must take the  Vantage.”

Well fuck. How could James say no to that? He knew that Sirius was upset that he and Lily would be headed off to Princeton in the fall leaving their friend behind. He looked over at Lily and they had a silent conversation with their eyes. Essentially it boiled down to Lily screaming at him:  _ Oh no James Potter! I am not stepping into that one! If you want to stop him, be my guest but I am just along for the ride.  _

Ten minutes later they were flying down the N Capital of Texas Highway with Lily in the passenger seat and James in the back.

**✴** **★** **✴**

The Vantage was even more fun to drive than Sirius had imagined. As they blazed down the scenic highway, he turned the radio to the classic hits station, 103.5 The Bat.

“So?” James piped up from the back, “Where to first?”

Sirius made eye-contact in the rearview mirror and smiled, “I thought we would stop for breakfast.”

They pulled into the candy shop not fifteen minutes later. Lammes was Sirius’ favorite. The Texas institution was on its fifth generation of ownership and had some of the best chocolate and pecan  praline in the state. 

Sirius walked right up to the glass counter filled with trays and trays of chocolate treats. He crouched down immediately getting eye level with the candies. “You know Prongs, I think that more food should be sold by the pound.”

They left the shop carrying a rather large bag filled with more candy than anyone could possibly eat.  As they sat in the Vantage and stuffed their faces, Sirius got into a heated debate with Lily about whether Austin's new FC team would be any good. 

“Domínguez and Redes are brilliant, and together they are unstoppable,” Sirius spoke excitedly.

“Sure, but name one other decent player we’ve got? You can’t and do you know why? We don’t have any other players yet!”

James groaned from the back seat, “Not this again! Let’s go do something.”

“Ok James, what do you want to do?” Lily asked him.

James thought for a moment, “Thrift shopping!”

“Hell yeah.” Sirius put the car in gear and the trio was back on the road.

**✴** **★** **✴**

Austin Pet’s Alive ! Thrift Store was an eclectic shop to be sure. In addition to racks and racks of donated clothes and accessories, the store also had a few interesting pieces of furniture and art. Lily found a nice spot on the sofa by the dressing rooms while James and Sirius spent the better part of an hour trying on ridiculous outfits. Lily acted as judge as they competed to see who could come up with the ugliest ensemble. 

After five costume changes, Lily declared James the winner for his truly inspired piece of bright turquoise cowboy boots paired with a white faux fur coat and the most ridiculous pair of star-shaped sunglasses. 

“Cheater! Everyone knows you’re sleeping with the judge.” Sirius cried.

“Yes well, as the winner, James now gets to put everything back!”

James groaned and Sirius laughed. He dropped down next to Lily on the sofa, sinking deep into the sagging cushion _.  _

“Go on then, oh mighty winner. Chop chop. These clothes aren’t going to put themselves away.”

Sirius smiled at Lily as James began to gather up the heaps of clothes, “So, how are the Arabic classes coming along?” 

Lily hated her Arabic classes and had regretted her decision to sign up for them since sophomore year, though it had won her brownie points with James’ parents.

“You taking French ought to be considered cheating,” Lily grumbled.

“Ce n'est pas ma faute si l'enseignant suppose que mes talents linguistiques sont limités à une seule langue.”

Lily let out an indignant huff and the two continued talking about school, as James finished hanging up all the clothes. It took him half an hour to put everything back, and once he was finished he plopped himself on the other side of Lily. 

“ _ Ooof _ . I’m hungry.”

Lily patted him placatingly, “Of course you are, James. Well, it’s almost time for lunch, if you two want to change I can ask the cashier for the best place to eat around here and we can grab some food.”

James smiled and gave his girlfriend a peck on the lips, “I love you.” Sirius gagged. 

“Oh come off it. Someday you are going to meet a beautiful girl, and I will be the one subjected to your blatant displays of PDA.” James teased.

“Fat chance of that.”

While the boys changed, Lily bought herself a new pair of earrings and asked the cashier for directions. 

“I can’t believe you bought those glasses,” she deadpanned at Sirius as they all got into the car.

“How could he not?” James replied, “Those sunglasses were made for his bone structure.”

Sirius took a moment to admire himself in the mirror, “Hum, yes, I am indeed fabulous and you’re just jealous that you wouldn’t be able to pull them off. Where to next?”

“Phils Ice House. It’s just down the road.”

**✴** **★** **✴**

Lunch was delicious - greasy burgers and fries. The place was super busy since it was lunchtime and they were walking distance from McCallum Highschool, but they managed to find a little table outside and away from everyone else. Once they were done eating, James and Lily started talking to each other but Sirius tuned out their conversation. Instead, he tilted his head back, closed his eyes and just took in the feeling of the sun shining on his face. He smiled to himself - happy and content in the moment, but soon enough the bad thoughts started creeping in.

“Oh! I haven’t seen the Ellsworth Kelly yet. Sirius, we should go.”

“Hmm?” Sirius shook off his train of thought and focused back in on what Lily had said, ”Oh yeah. Sure. I haven’t seen it yet either. We can leave now if you guys are ready.”

They all piled into the Vantage yet again. Sirius began backing out of his spot, when it happened.

_ Thunk! _

He slammed on the brakes. Something had come out of Sirius' blind spot while he was turned around.

“I think you just hit someone!” James exclaimed.

In one fluid movement, Sirius put the car back in park, unbuckled his seatbelt and swung open the door. He ran around to the back of the car where a boy around his age sat on the ground inspecting some shallow cuts on his palms. Fuck, he was in so much trouble. 

He didn’t realize that he had frozen in place until Lily started to help the boy up, shooting Sirius a look. 

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“Me? Oh yeah, I’ll be fine. Just surprised me more than anything.” The boy rubbed at his ass where he had presumably landed when Sirius had hit him with the car. He was tall and lean with mousey brown hair. A long scar ran across his nose. Sirius couldn’t help but notice that he was quite attractive. 

“I am so, so sorry,” Sirius spoke, “I didn't mean to run you over. I swear.”

The boy let out a breathy laugh. “Don’t worry about it. It’s just a flesh wound, see.” He held out his hands so that Sirius could see the cuts. “Besides it was partly my fault. Maybe next time, I won’t walk and read in the middle of a busy parking lot.”

James picked up the book still laying on the ground and handed it over.

“One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest? Got an English test later today?”

The boy laughed again this time warm and sweet.

“No, just reading it for fun.”

James shrugged, “To each their own, I suppose.”

“I still feel really bad,” Sirius butted in, “At least let me get you some Neosporin or something so those don’t get infected. There’s a grocery store nearby right? We can take you if you want.”

The boy appeared to consider it for a moment, “Yeah, ok. I’m Remus by the way. I would shake your hand but...”

“Oh, I’m Sirius and that’s James and Lily.” 

They waved and there was an awkward pause.

“Right, grocery store. Hop in.”

The grocery store was right down the road. Sirius and James went inside to grab the supplies while Remus waited with Lily in the parking lot. Sirius grabbed disinfectant, gauze, band-aids, water bottles, and several bags of frozen peas, before going back out to find Remus and Lily leaning against the hood of the car.

“For your butt,” he said as he handed Remus one of the bags. 

“Thanks.” He took the peas from Sirius, wincing a bit as he maneuvered to ice his ass but the initial pain was quickly replaced with relief. 

“Do you mind?” Sirius asked as he gestured to Remus’ hands. Remus shook his head and watched as Sirius washed the wounds with the bottled water, expertly disinfecting and wrapping the cuts.

“You’re really good at this,” Remus spoke quietly.

“Yeah, well, I’ve had some practice.” Sirius saw the other boy’s eyes flicker to the bruise along his jaw but he quickly spoke again before Remus could ask about it. “There. All done. You should probably clean them again and re-wrap them when you get home.”

“Thanks. I guess we’re all going to be late for class, huh.”

“Oh, we don’t go to McCallum,” James spoke up. “We’re skipping today.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. I haven’t seen you guys around before. What are your plans for the rest of the afternoon?”

“Well, Lily wanted to go check out the Ellsworth Kelly. She hasn’t been yet, and we figured we would check it off. You should come!”

“Oh! I actually haven’t been yet either. Do you mind if I tag along? I don’t want to intrude,” he directed his question at Sirius.

Sirius flashed one of his winning smiles, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He held the passenger door open for Remus while James and Lily got in the back. Soon enough they were off, on the way to their next destination.

**✴** **★** **✴**

Regulus had 6th period AP Calculus with a bunch of seniors, including Peter Pettigrew. Seeing Pettigrew in class did nothing to assuage the worry that had lingered in the back of his mind all day. 

If Sirius had Pettigrew along then maybe he won’t be so likely to do something stupid, though now that Regulus thought about Pettigrew had never stopped his brother before. No, his only hope would be Potter and Evans which he supposed was better than none.

He hoped Potter had understood his warning and would have Sirius home before their mother showed up.

Last night… well it had been a while since it had escalated past yelling. And Regulus knew from experience that when it got physical like that, Sirius was only more likely to rebel. Why couldn’t his brother just learn to challenge their parent's authority in more subtle ways like Regulus had? But no, he supposed if Sirius did that he wouldn’t be Sirius.

Regulus would never admit it to anyone, but he was afraid. He was afraid that he was going to lose his brother. Sirius wasn’t going to college next year. He would be stuck at home with their mother, and Regulus didn’t think Sirius was going to survive. She would break him, Regulus knew it, and he was pretty sure Sirius did too. It was probably why he had been acting out lately.

Regulus would do what he could, which was admittedly not much. He let out an exasperated sigh and tried to focus on the lesson.

**✴** **★** **✴**

The building was amazing, Sirius had to admit that. It was a simple design with two barrel vaults intersecting in the middle which evoked Christian themes. The idea, though, seemed to be to subvert these themes. Inside, instead of religious iconographies, were abstract black and white paintings and where one would expect to find a cross there was instead a modern sculpture. It was as if someone had taken the idea of a church, shrunk it down, and stripped it - leaving behind only the abstract of the institution. 

Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus spread out inside of the space taking in the atmosphere.

“Kelly died before it was finished,” Remus spoke softly though his voice echoed in the empty room, “cancer.”

Sirius turned to face him as he continued on.

“He spent his last months working on it. Even when it got bad enough that he needed an oxygen tank to breathe. Even when he couldn’t do anything else. It was his magnum opus, the cumulation of his life’s work. Before he died he said he wanted it to be a place of joy - a place where people could rest their minds and find peace.”

At that moment a cloud moved and light shone through the colored glass windows. A brilliant orange light fell across Remus’ face. Sirius felt his breath catch in his throat at the sight, the image of it searing into his mind. It was beautiful.

After exploring the space, James and Lily decided to go and look at some of the other art in the museum but Sirius and Remus opted to stay behind. They sat together on the floor with their backs up against the wall. They sat and talked as they watched the light move across the floor in conjunction with the sun.

“You seem to know a lot about this place,” Sirius was the first to break the silence. “Are you an artist?”

“Me? No. My mom is. She’s a painter.” Remus’ face took on a sad expression. 

“What does she paint?”

“She, well, she used to do oil paintings - nature scapes and such. We would go on hikes and then she would capture these small little moments and bring them to life. I wish I could see the world the way she does.” Remus’ eyes shone as he spoke.

The way Remus talked about his mother twisted a small part inside Sirius. He was glad though that Remus had that.

“She hasn’t painted in a long time though, not since she got sick.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I miss her sometimes. That sounds stupid because she is right there, but it is not the same. Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload all this on you. I just, I don’t have a lot of people I can talk to.”

“I don’t mind. Believe me, your family drama couldn’t hold a candle to mine. Does she still live at home?”

“Yeah, most of the time it’s not that bad. My dad and I take care of her whenever she relapses but she is still independent ninety percent of the time. My dad works, I go to school, and she takes care of the house.”

“What does your dad do?” Sirius asked, genuinely curious. He felt as if he wanted to know every detail of Remus’ life.

“Nothing very interesting. He is a senior writing associate for the Texas Legislative Council. They provide all the background support at the Capital - research, drafting, all the boring stuff.”

“So he’s the academic type?”

Remus laughed and Sirius smiled.

“I suppose so. I did get my love of books from him.”

“Ok, so books and art. What else are you passionate about?”

“Hmmm, ok well this is very  cliché but I really like music.”

Sirius perked up. Books and art were all well and good, but he couldn’t contribute much to the conversation - though Sirius was quickly realizing he wouldn’t mind just listening to Remus talk for hours. But music! Sirius could talk about music.

“What’s your favorite genre?”

“I don’t know about genre. I just really like to listen to obscure bands play live. So I guess it is a good thing I live in Austin. I hate going to big concerts. There are just so many people, all pushing and pulling to get as close to the stage as possible and it’s hot and sweaty and sometimes sticky and I would just rather, not. But seeing a band perform live is such a unique experience so I like to go to the smaller venues and discover new music. It doesn’t really matter what kind of music they’re playing because in such an intimate setting you can’t help but connect.”

Sirius’ eyes shone. Where has this boy been his whole life?

“What was the last show you went to?”

“Let’s see, last Saturday I went to Spider house and saw  Sharks In The Deep End, Cowboy Diplomacy, and The History Department. It was pretty great.”

They spent some more time discussing music before Remus changed the subject. 

“You’re a senior right?”

Sirius nodded.

“Where are you going to school in the fall?”

“I’m actually taking a gap year, so I’ll be sticking around in Austin. What about you?”

Remus smiled again, “I’m staying here, UT. That way I can help out with Mom, plus UT’s College of Education is ranked quite high.”

“Are you going to be a teacher? Because you would be great at that.” 

Remus nodded sheepishly, but before their conversation could continue James and Lily came back into the nave.

They were surprised to find Sirius and Remus exactly where they had left them and Sirius, himself, was surprised at how much time had passed.

“So then Remus, should we take you home?” James asked as the group reunited.

“Actually, it is such a beautiful day - I was thinking of going to the park.”

“Zilker?” Sirius immediately suggested.

“Perfect.”

And so they found themselves on the road once more this time making their way across the river.

**✴** **★** **✴**

Zilker Park was packed, and Sirius had to park several blocks away. As they approached the green-space Remus could see why. Kites of all different shapes and colors littered the sky. There were booths set up with food, music, and activities. A big stage was set up in the middle of the park, but was currently unoccupied. It would seem they had wandered right into the middle of a very vibrant kite festival.

There were of course the traditional diamond and box kites, but there were also some definite gems doing their part to “keep Austin weird.” There were ships and dragons and one very colorful octopus, but the best by far was a giant whale kite. It made Remus think of a fantasy world where whales swam through the clouds rather than the waves.

After making a loop through the park, James suggested they grab some tacos and stake out a place in the shade. They found a spot beneath a tree and spread out. Remus had never been more glad to have been hit by a car. He didn’t have many close friends, but for some reason, he felt really drawn to Sirius. He was confident and bright and impulsive and everything Remus was not. But Remus could tell that under that friendly surface there was a lot more depth to Sirius.

He watched as James and Sirius began an arm-wrestling contest.

“Are they always like this?” He turned to Lily.

“Believe it or not this is tame for them. Just be glad they’re not climbing that tree to see who can get higher.”

He enjoyed talking with Lily, she was friendly and smart and it appeared that she was a bit of an activist. They got into an interesting political discussion that he found quite enjoyable. His attention was diverted when Sirius suddenly stood up and began to walk off.

“Where is he going?” Remus asked James.

James shrugged, “Absolutely no clue.”

They all shared a look, before getting up to follow him.

“He was just here. How far could he have gotten?” said Lily.

They searched the crowd but he seemed to have vanished.

“Maybe he went back to the car.”

As James was speaking they heard a familiar voice amplified out over the audio system.

“Ladies and gentlemen, non-binary folks and those who have yet to make up their minds, we would like to play a little tune for you. It is one of my personal favorites and I would like to dedicate it to a new friend of mine. Remus Lupin, this one’s for you.”

A beat started to play out as Remus, Lily, and James pushed their way to the front of the stage. Sure enough, there stood Sirius with a microphone in hand and a band at his back.

“Oh my god. What does he think he is doing?” said Remus.

“How did he even get up there?” Lily asked.

James was just smiling ear-to-ear. “Whooo! Go Pads!”

Sirius saw them in the crowd and gave a wink.

“ _ I- I will be king, and you- you will be queen… _ ”

Remus looked up at him in awe.

“ _ Though nothing will drive them away, we can beat them just for one day _ ,  _ w _ _ e can be heroes just for one day _ _...” _

Sirius might not win any awards with his voice, but Remus couldn’t care less and it seemed neither did anyone else. He owned that stage and Remus began to sway with the music letting the moment wash over him.

When the song was finished Sirius got down and the band continued on with their set.

“You’re crazy. You know that right? How did you even get them to let you do that?” Remus blurted out once Sirius had joined them.

“You don’t know this about me yet, but I am  _ very _ charming.” Sirius flashed a smile.

“You’re an absolute loon is what you are.” But Remus smiled back thinking to himself that this might be one of the best days of his life.

They stayed till the end when the vendors began to pack away their things and people started to clear out.

“I don’t think I’m quite ready to go home just yet,” Remus spoke up as they walked back to the car.

“Don’t worry,” said Sirius, “I know the perfect place to end the day.”

**✴** **★** **✴**

For a Friday, Mt Bonnell was surprisingly quiet. The four friends made their way up to the top and easily snagged a spot on the cliff-side overlooking west Austin and the water below. They had made it just in time for the sunset, and beautiful oranges and yellows painted the sky.

“I can’t remember the last time I just sat and watched a sunset,” Lily said as she leaned against James.

“You ever think about the people who live in those mansions down there?” Remus asked absentmindedly, “How could anyone have that much money?”

James’ face screwed up into a grimace. Lily stared down at the ground. And Sirius opened his mouth to speak before closing it again.

That had not been the reaction Remus was expecting, “What? Don’t tell me you guys know someone who lives down there?”

“Actually, that’s my house.” Sirius pointed to a property right along the water.

“You’re joking.” Remus turned to Lily, “He is having me on, right?”

Sirius answered him instead, “Come on Remus, how many eighteen-year-olds do you know that drive around in an Aston Martin.” Remus didn’t have to know that he had stolen it from his dad.

“I don’t know! I just figured you were really into classic cars or something! Driving a nice car doesn’t automatically equal a mansion on Lady Bird Lake!” Remus put his head in his hands. “I suppose you two are loaded as well.”

“I mean, nothing like Sirius, but my parents do alright,” James replied.

“Actually I’m at St. Stephen’s on a scholarship. My parents run a restaurant in San Angelo,” Lily answered next.

Remus shook his head with a slight smile and turned back to Sirius, “Can I expect any more surprises, like you’re actually a spy for the CIA or you’re cousins with the Queen of England? You know what, don't answer that. I think that no matter how much I learn about you, you will always find ways to surprise me.”

Sirius smiled, and they all watched as the sun dipped below the horizon. As the light receded Sirius reflected back on the day. It had been absolutely perfect. He just hoped that it wouldn’t be his last taste of freedom. 

Graduation was fast approaching and soon James and Lily would be off at Princeton while he was left alone with his parents. Sure, his brother would be there, but Regulus hadn’t been an ally in many years. He had chosen to give in long ago, and honestly, Sirius couldn’t blame him. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could last himself, especially without James by his side.

When his mother had suggested he take a gap year after High School he had jumped at the opportunity, but now he saw the trap for what it was. It would just be him and her for the whole year with no one to run interference - no lifeline. 

He looked over at his best friend who was snuggled up against Lily. If Sirius was being perfectly honest, he had started to lose James a while back. They still joked around, and pulled pranks, and skipped class - but James had begun to mature in ways that Sirius had not. He participated in the student council and tutored freshmen and dated Lily Evans. And Sirius loved Lily, he really did - she was smart and funny and willing to indulge some of his more ridiculous antics - but she was proof that James was growing up because she wouldn’t be dating him otherwise.

Sirius felt a cold hand rest on his.

“What are you thinking about?”

Remus. Of course Remus! He wouldn’t have to be alone, because now he had Remus. Kind, brilliant Remus who was staying in Austin. Their meeting today couldn’t have been anything other than fate.

Remus laughed as he saw Sirius light up, “You know, I had a lot of fun today. Who knew getting hit by a car would be one of the best things to happen to me?”

“Again, really sorry about that.”

Remus waved him off.

He was staring at Sirius with a soft look in his eyes. Sirius could see shades of green woven into a sea of amber and brown. And then Remus was moving closer. Sirius realized what was happening just a second before he felt soft lips brush against his. 

Sirius jerked away in surprise and his eyes grew the size of saucers. Remus had just kissed him. What the fuck! Remus just stole his first kiss. His brain just kept replaying the moment in his head.

Remus scooted away from Sirius taking in his reaction, “Sirius, I’m sorry. I didn’t- I didn’t mean to. I thought...”

James and Lily were staring at them now, and if he didn’t know any better Sirius might have said that James looked disappointed.

“Whatever. It’s fine.” Sirius said calmly, “Let’s just go home.”

**✴** **★** **✴**

Sirius threw the keys to James and climbed into the passenger seat, leaving Remus and Lily to crawl into the back.

The car was deathly silent as they wound down a stretch of 2222.

Sirius’ mind was racing a mile a minute. Why had Remus done that? He had ruined everything. For one glorious minute Sirius had thought that he wouldn’t have to be alone, but then Remus had gone and kissed him and Sirius had pulled away and now they’d probably never see each other again.

Sirius didn’t like boys, well to be fair he didn’t really like girls either. Since he had been a kid there had been people who had assumed that he was gay, and there was nothing wrong with that but it just wasn’t how he identified. He had never been afraid to express himself. He knew he was the biggest drama queen in their year and more than a bit flamboyant, but that didn’t make him gay. 

He had actually given it a lot of thought once everyone started dating back in middle school and he realized he wasn’t really attracted to any of the girls. Sure, there were plenty of pretty ones but the idea of kissing one of them - he just couldn’t get past that roadblock. In fact, the only person he had ever pictured himself kissing was James, and he had banished that thought the moment it had entered his head because that was just too weird. 

In theory, if he had to pick someone to date purely based on gender he would pick a girl but in practice… He just figured someday the right person would come along and until then he had plenty of things he wanted to do, pranks he wanted to pull, and places he wanted to see.

His eyes drifted to the rearview mirror, where he caught a glimpse of Remus in the back seat.

Remus, who was kind and open and smart and funny. Remus, who read One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest for fun and got in cars with strangers moments after they had run him over. Remus, whose smile could light up a room and who looked at Sirius as if he had hung the stars in the sky.

Shit.

“James. Pullover.”

“What?”

“Pullover!”

James could hear the frantic tone in Sirius’ voice and did as instructed. Before the car even came to a stop Sirius had the door open and was already getting out. He felt like his whole world was collapsing down around him and he couldn’t breathe.

“Sirius!” James called out, but Sirius was already gone. He ran off into the woods that lined the side of the road. James made to go after him but a hand on his arm stopped him.

“Let me. This is all my fault after all.” 

Remus walked off after the raven-haired teen.

“Sirius. I’m sorry. Look, I can get an Uber if you want me to go...” As Remus got closer he saw the panicked look on Sirius’ face, “Shit Sirius. Breathe.” He started to reach out but stopped himself midway. “Do you want me to go get James?”

Sirius shook his head.

“Ok. Ok. Here, give me your hand.”

Sirius looked at him with wild eyes but complied with the request. Remus took the hand and placed it on his own chest.

“Do you feel that?” Remus took a deep breath.

Sirius nodded. 

“Good. Sirius breathe with me. In. Out. Good.”

They stood there for a while breathing together until Sirius felt in control once more. He looked at Remus then, his beautiful angel. A single clear thought shone through all the others, and Sirius knew with absolute certainty that he was falling in love with this man.

He crashed his lips into Remus’ their teeth colliding. After all, Sirius was a man of action. Remus let out a surprised squeak and for a second, it was awful. 

But then Remus melted into the kiss and tangled his hands into Sirius’ soft hair. Sirius let Remus take over, following his lead. It felt strange, not bad, just strange. It was wet and soft and his stomach was doing backflips. Sirius began to suck on Remus’ lower lip and the other boy let out a small whimper before breaking away. He rested his forehead against Sirius’ while he caught his breath. Sirius tried to go back for another kiss, but Remus stopped him.

“Wait, Sirius. What are you- I thought-” He took a breath, “Back at Mt Bonnell when I kissed you, you pulled away and then you completely shut down.”

“You surprised me! I had never kissed anyone before, barely ever even thought of it, and then suddenly your lips were on mine. My brain short-circuited.”

“That’s fair. I thought you were giving me all these signals, but I shouldn’t have assumed.” Remus paused for a moment, “Just to be super clear then, you do like me? Because I really like you Sirius. A lot.”

Sirius nodded emphatically. “Yes, I like you Remus. Right now I am really confused about a lot of things, but not about that. I- I don’t know if I am gay or bi or pan or whatever but I think I might be Remus-sexual.”

Remus laughed at that.

“Back in the car I started thinking about how I might never see you again, never hear that laugh again, never listen to you analyze your favorite album... and I, well, I started to panic a little bit.”

Remus stroked Sirius’ hair, “We can take it slow if you want. I just really like you and I was scared that I had fucked everything up.”

“I would like that, taking it slow I mean.”

“Good. We should probably go back to the car now though before James sends a search party after us.”

Sirius laughed and reached out to take Remus’ hand. They walked back to the car together.

“Oh thank God. Jesus, Sirius you scared me.” James' eyes fell onto the interlocked hands. He looked back up at Sirius and then back down to the hands and a grin broke out on his face.

“Shut up,” Sirius warned, “Not a peep.”

James had the audacity to look offended. 

“Who! Me! I would never!”

“No of course not.”

Sirius slid into the back seat without letting go of Remus’ hand. Lily moved to the front and James retook his place behind the wheel.

“So, where am I headed?”

Lily responded first, “I don’t know about you boys, but I have a curfew to meet.”

**✴** **★** **✴**

After they dropped Lily off at the dorms, they headed to Sirius’ house. James needed to get his pickup and Remus’ house was back in central Austin so it made the most practical sense. However, once they had pulled up to the front of the property Sirius didn’t make a move. 

He sat holding Remus’ hand, a look of deep concentration on his face.

“Sirius are you sure you’re ok?” Remus asked hesitantly.

“Hmmm, oh yeah.” He gave Remus a quick peck on the lips, “I just… Look Remus, my family… they’re not good people. I have never been able to live up to their expectations, and quite frankly I would never want to.” Sirius took a deep breath. “My mother was already pissed at me for coming home late last night. That’s where I got this beauty.” Sirius gestured to the bruise along his jaw that had already started to yellow.

“She’s not going to be too thrilled that I left the house today or that I took the Vantage... or that I have been kissing boys. Well, a boy,” he corrected. “And keeping with today’s theme of honesty and personal growth I don’t think I really want to go back there. James, does your… can I…”

“Of course Sirius. You know my mom and dad would be happy to have you.”

Sirius nodded, “Ok. Ok then. James, you and Remus get the pickup and meet me back here. I’m going to go get my things.”

He moved to get out of the car, but Remus pulled him back. His eyes searched Sirius’ face. What he was looking for Sirius wasn’t sure but he must have found it because Sirius almost had the wind knocked out of him as Remus launched himself into his arms and enveloped him in the best hug he had ever received. Sirius immediately sank into it and let himself get lost in the warmth and comfort of it all. It felt like coming home. He thought that if his future consisted of more of this then maybe it wouldn’t be so bleak after all. But he had to get through this first so he regretfully broke away and gave Remus one more quick peck.

“I’ll be right back. I promise.” And with that, he got out of the car and marched up the drive.

He slammed the front door shut and went straight to his room grabbing a duffel bag out of his closet and stuffing it with anything within arms reach.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His mother came up behind him.

Sirius ignored her.

“I had half a mind to call the cops when I got home to find you and the Aston gone.”

Just a few more minutes and then he could be done with her for good. His eyes flicked to the door as he saw Regulus in the hall. A pang of guilt rose in his stomach, but he couldn’t think of that. He had to get out now or he never would, and Regulus- Regulus would be fine. Their mother had never touched him, Sirius had made sure of that, and Regulus had always had a better sense of self-preservation. No, Regulus would be fine for now and after- after Sirius was free, he could see about getting Regulus out of there too.

“I’m leaving and I am not coming back.” He looked right at the woman as he spoke but immediately turned away unable to hold her gaze for long.

“You’re- you’re… What? Where the fuck are you going to go? The Potter’s? And when James leaves for school, what then? You certainly can’t mooch off of them forever. You have no money, no marketable skills. You walk out that door and you can forget about coming back. You will be cut off- for good.”

Sirius said nothing as he pushed past her, sparing only a moment to look at the dumbstruck expression on his brother's face.

As he walked out the front door he paused to breathe in the night air. So this is what freedom felt like.

“Sirius wait!”

He tensed up again at the sound of his name. He should have known it wasn’t going to be that easy.

“Reg-  _ ooof. _ ”

Sirius had not expected to find himself the recipient of a bone-crushing hug for the second time that night. When had Regulus gotten so strong?

“Here.” Regulus released his grip and pushed something into Sirius’ hand, “take it.”

It was Regulus’  Jaquet Droz  watch. The watch their parents had given him after he won the Davidson Fellowship last year. A watch that was worth well over twenty-thousand dollars.

Sirius thought for a moment about rejecting the gift but quickly dispelled the thought. Instead, he clutched it like a lifeline because that is what it was, a sign that his little brother was still here, still loved him.

“Thank you, “ Sirius whispered. “Reggie I-”

Regulus cut him off, “I know Sirius. I know. Your friends are waiting for you.”

Sirius turned around to see James pulling up in his pickup with Remus in the passenger’s seat. 

“I’ll see you at school on Monday.” 

Regulus nodded and Sirius ruffled his hair like he used to do when they were kids. And just like when they were kids, Regulus chased his hand away and immediately tried to straighten his hair back out.

Sirius climbed into the back of the pickup truck and gave his brother a wave. He had no idea what the future was going to look like but for the first time ever he was excited about the possibilities it held. Besides, he had all summer to figure it out.

  
  
  
  


_ Out here in the fields _

_ I fought for my meals _

_ I get my back into my living _

_ I don't need to fight _

_ To prove I'm right _

_ I don't need to be forgiven _

_ Don't cry _

_ Don't raise your eye _

_ It's only teenage wasteland _

_ Sally, take my hand _

_ Travel south crossland _

_ Put out the fire _

_ And don't look past my shoulder _

_ The exodus is here _

_ The happy ones are near _

_ Let's get together _

_ Before we get much older _

_ Teenage wasteland _

_ It's only teenage wasteland _

_ Teenage wasteland, oh yeah _

_ Teenage wasteland _

_ They're all wasted _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t mean for this to be so Austin centric, but they say to write what you know, so here we are. If you are ever in town, now you know some things to do. This world exists sans covid because it is my AU and I don’t want it.


End file.
